Spoiler alert: oo7 wins in the end
By Zan Azlee

NOV 2 — My wife (being a TV personality and all… whoo!) was invited to walk the red carpet at the recent gala premiere of the new James Bond movie “Skyfall”. She invited me along. At first I declined, thinking that I wanted to let her have all the attention and did not want to steal her limelight. But she begged and pleaded. So I agreed on certain simple conditions:

1. I did not want any direct camera flashes in my eyes.

2. No questions by reporters about my estranged stepfather.

3. An air-conditioned trailer while waiting.

4. A bowl of M&Ms with all the green ones removed.

5. A lobster.

Then came time for the movie. I’m not a James Bond fan but I’ve seen almost all instalments of the franchise. And I would complain and rant every time. “Skyfall” opened with a big fight and chase scene between Bond (who else?), another MI6 agent and a bad guy, with the mother of all lady bosses, M, directing them through ear-pieces.

Should I even bother describing the ridiculously outrageous chase scene which involved cars, motorcycles, trains, tunnels and a gigantic hoe tractor? I shouldn’t. It ends with Bond getting shot by mistake by his fellow MI6 agent, with orders by M. Should I even bother to mention that it is impossible for the hero to be killed so early in a movie like this? I shouldn’t.

After everyone gets over the guilt and sadness of a dead orphan who has no other next-of-kin, lo and behold, he shows up after being nursed back to health by a beautiful Turkish woman (who he has sex with, of course!). [Click to read the full article at The Malaysian Insider]