Pakchic Says: Baby on the way! 5 tips to prepare your toddler for a new sibling


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Pakchic Says: Baby on the way! 5 tips to prepare your toddler for a new sibling
By Zan Azlee

“If it’s a baby girl, then she will be in mummy’s stomach. But if it’s a baby boy, then he will be in pop’s stomach!” Athena would explain to almost everyone she meets.

She is four years old and we’ve decided to have a second kid to fill up another room in the house. And the challenge is – how do we prepare her for a sibling?

So here are five things we’ve noticed so far that needs to be done. We’ve only come to the fifth month of the pregnancy, so this list might grow as we learn more!

1. Let your child in on the baby as early on as possible

We never hid the fact that mummy was pregnant with a baby in her tummy from Athena. As soon as we found out that the pod had landed, we told her.

Hopefully, by doing so, she will won’t feel left out and is actually involved with her new brother or sister and start to develop that big sister love.

We let her ask as many or as little questions as she wants about the baby or pregnancy. Also, she is encouraged to share her feelings at all times.

2. Always be consistent

My wife and I try our best to be consistent with the how we treat Athena. For example, we don’t change her normal schedule just because mummy is pregnant now.

We still send and pick her up from school normally, organise regular playdates and everything else so she won’t feel like the baby will change things too much.

But we still need to prepare her for change. And we constantly talk and explain to her the small differences that will take place, like mummy having to feed the baby, etc.

3. Reassure her

I will still hug and smother Athena with kisses every single chance I get because she needs to know that I will love her like anything with or without a new baby.

If you know my wife and I, we are always telling Athena we love her on an hourly basis (yeah, we know she’ll start getting annoyed once she grows up a bit more!).

4. Expose her to babies

Athena has a few cousins that are a few years younger than her and we try to get them to hang out together as much as possible so she will feel comfortable with babies.

She has started to realise that small babies are delicate and she needs to take care of then and protect them. It teaches her responsibility too.

5. No blame game

We try to avoid blaming both Athena or the baby in the tummy for anything at all. We don’t want her to feel resentment towards the baby because of anything.

For example, if Athena wants to play but mummy’s stamina is a little bit reduced because of the pregnancy, we just say mummy is tired instead of saying there’s a baby in the tummy.

Or if Athena is rough housing a little bit and accidentally gets too close to mummy’s tummy, say that mummy could get hurt instead of saying it could hurt the baby.

Whatever it is, always remember that building a family and welcoming a new addition is suppose to be all about happiness, love and care. It’s really difficult to go wrong.

[This article originally appeared on Makchic.Com]

No Rohingya in this village


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No Rohingya in this village
By Zan Azlee

The whole world is looking at Malaysia and the Southeast Asian region due to the recent Rohingya humanitarian crisis where more than a thousand Rohingya refugees landed on the shores of Langkawi, Kedah and several thousands more still adrift at sea.

Rumours began to surface that there is a small village on the island where the population consists of thousands of Rohingya. Of course this piqued Astro AWANI’s interest and so I travelled with cameraman, Fahmey Azhar, to Langkawi to see if these rumours were true.

A village of immigrants

“There is a village called Kampung Bukit Malut where everyone there are Burmese,” explained Suid Chin, a retired school headmaster and a local of Langkawi.

He went on to say that these people have been living there for many years now and they are now entering their second and even third generation. Many speak Bahasa Malaysia with a perfect Kedah accent.

This is echoed by several other locals I meet in the town of Kuah.

“There are many people from Myanmar in Kampung Bukit Malut. But they live very poor lives and mostly uneducated,” said shopkeeper Hathijathul Fahira Ashar.

“They are said to be from Myanmar, but they speak perfect Bahasa Malaysia. So I’m not sure,” exclaimed batik salesman Basri Abdul Shahid.

“I think there are Burmese, Thai and Indonesians living in Kampung Bukit Malut,” said Khoo Thean Boon, a local anchovy dealer.

The way that these locals talked about Kampung Bukit Malut and it’s villagers was an obvious sign that although they looked upon these people as immigrants but not outsiders. It was like they were so much a part of Langkawi.

But, we also heard some negative rumours about Kampung Bukit Malut. Several people told us that it is a dangerous area and very ghetto-like. No Langkawi local dared to set foot in the village because, apparently, there were many gangsters and criminals.

A child from Kampung Bukit Malut, Langkawi. (Photo by Zan Azlee)
A child from Kampung Bukit Malut, Langkawi. (Photo by Zan Azlee)

Walking into the ghetto

We drove into the Bukit Malut area early in the morning. As we were driving along Jalan Bukit Malut, we started noticed the shape of squatter-like houses in between the tall trees that lined the shoulder of the road.

Soon, we reached a small left turning in the road and we followed it until we arrived at a small mosque and awarongopposite it. We parked the car and headed for thewarongfor some tea. There were several people there who eyed us suspiciously.

The stall owner took our order and I took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with him. He told me that he was a local Kedahan Malay and that he has been living in this village for about thirty years.

I asked him if there was a village head that I could talk to to find out more about the history of this village. He pointed me in a direction of a small house nearby a coconut tree and I nodded thankfully.

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Kampung Bukit Malut in Langkawi is rumoured to be a Rohingya village. (Photo by Zan Azlee)

We are not Rohingya

Abdullah Mohamed, or Pak Lah as he is known, looked a bit apprehensive when we first approached him. But he warmed up a little bit when we told him about the rumours and that if it wasn’t true, then we want to tell that to the public.

“We expected this attention when the Rohingya crisis got in the news. But the fact is that there are no Rohingya in this village,” he stated.

Pak Lah continued to explain that they are all Malays here. What he feels has fueled the rumours is that some of the people who first settled here were Malays who had lived in Myanmar many years ago but returned.

“Many people also think we’re gangsters here. But you can see for yourself, we’re civilised. Why don’t these accusers come and pay us a visit and see how normal we are,” he said.

“We are all peaceful Malaysians here. We even have our blue identification cards!” laughed Ahmad, a friend of Pak Lah and also a village committee member.

The villager settlers are Malays who had been living in Myanmar. (Photo by Zan Azlee)
The villager settlers are Malays who had been living in Myanmar. (Photo by Zan Azlee)

Was he a Rohingya?

We bid farewell to Pak Lah and, with his blessings, we walked further into the Kampung Bukit Malut to explore and see how the villagers were living their lives here and to try and interview a few of them as well.

The deeper we got into the village, the worse condition the houses and roads became. Eventually, we were walking in mud and the houses turned into decrepit plywood shacks. But there people every where – adults and children.

We met a man named Yusop Saad who was sitting with his son on the steps of his shack. I asked if he was willing to answer a few questions and he nodded.

“I’m Perak and I moved here about eight years ago. To support my six children, sometimes I go to sea to catch fish. Other times I work on land as a labourer,” he told me.

Yusop spoke to me in Bahasa Malaysia. He pronounced his words the way most northern Malaysians do. But somehow, he had a weird accent that I could not put my hand on. It didn’t sound local.

Yusop Saad and his son sitting in front of their home. (Photo by Zan Azlee)
Yusop Saad and his son sitting in front of their home. (Photo by Zan Azlee)

We continued walking and I noticed a young man probably in his late twenties sitting on a motorcycle and chewing betelnut. That seemed out of place to me because not many young men in Malaysia chewed betelnut.

I smiled and approached him. He smiled back. I asked him his name and where he came from. He said his name is Hisham and he was from Myanmar. I was caught off guard because I wasn’t expecting such a direct answer.

I asked if we could interview him in front of the camera. He nodded. But all of a sudden, there was a loud shout and we turned around to see an elderly man on a motorcycle motioning aggressively for Hisham to go to him.

Hisham walked up to the man on the motorcycle. There was a short exchange of words between them but I couldn’t hear anything. He came back to me after a few minutes and shook his head saying that he doesn’t want to be interviewed.

After a short attempt of trying to persuade him, I gave up and Fahmey and I went on our way. But it smelled fishy.

As we were about to walk out of the village, I saw a house with a family who had yellow powder all over their faces, again, a habit that is not common for Malaysians. And so I politely approached them to see if they were willing to be interviewed.

They spoke no Bahasa Malaysia, accept for a few smattering of words here and there. Instead, they called out their neighbour, a young man who lived in the rickety shack next to theirs. His name was Ismail Talib and he spoke Bahasa Malaysia.

“I’m Burmese and have been in Malaysia for many years. But I’m not from Rakhine and I’m not a Rohingya. My father brought us here to become citizens. I am a Malaysian now,” he smiled.

Working as a wireman, he recently just got married and he and his wife are expecting their first child. I wished them well and we went on our way.

Ismail Talib is from Myanmar but is now a Malaysian citizen. (Photo by Zan Azlee)
Ismail Talib is from Myanmar but is now a Malaysian citizen. (Photo by Zan Azlee)

M.I.K. (Melayu Islam Kedah)

“Kampung Bukit Malut is definitely not a Rohingya village. They are Malays who were living in Myanmar many years ago and then they came back,” said Kuah state assemblyman, Nor Saidi Nanyan.

He goes on to explain that a few decades ago, when Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad was the Prime Minister, these group of people were brought back to Malaysia and given citizenship because they were rightfully Malays.

“The term that is used is ‘Melayu Islam Kedah’, or Kedah Muslim Malays,” explained Nor Saidi. “These people are Malays and have Malay features instead of Rohingya.”

The few locals that I had spoken to in Langkawi also talked about these people being Malays from Myanmar and that they are actually interacting and living quite well with the locals here with no problems at all.

“They are very hardworking. Although most a fishermen, many have also started running businesses like car rental services and restaurants,” said retired teacher, Suid Chin.

“They are just like everyone else. There good ones are good and the bad ones are bad,” smiled batik salesman Basri Abdul Shahid.

"They are very hardworking," says Suid Chin of the Kampung Bukit Malut villagers. (Photo by Zan Azlee)
“They are very hardworking,” says Suid Chin of the Kampung Bukit Malut villagers. (Photo by Zan Azlee)

I left Langkawi with mixed feelings. Sure, for the most parts, the villagers there were very much Malay and Malaysian. But there were also questions that I could not answer – Who was Hisham? What is the exact history of the M.I.K. or Melayu Islam Kedah?

Oh well, it looks like those questions will have to wait for another day.

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Tune in to 501 AWANI at 9:30pm, Thursday 28th May 2015, for the special TV documentary about Kampung Bukit Malut, Langkawi, on Analisis Khas.

The Fat Bidin Film Club (Ep 10) – Mad Max: Fury Road


The Fat Bidin Film Club (Ep 10) – Mad Max: Fury Road

The Fat Bidin Film Club invites special guest Arif Rafhan Othman (aka Apan) to chat about the new Mad Max film. It is cheesy, but cool cheesy! And remember, it is not a remake of the Mel Gibson version.

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Listen to more Fat Bidin podcasts here.

The Fat Bidin Film Club Pic

Freelance writers banding together to take powers out of the hands of publishers


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I was a freelance writer for about 15 years (wait a minute… I still am actually!) and the issue of rates and payments has always been one that is icky and sticky to deal with.

It also seems that in Malaysia, writers never want to talk about the rates that they charge their clients for fear of competition or whatever.But because of this, publishers and news organisations have mostly been the ones with the power to dictate what writers get paid.

If only freelance writers would band together and protect their own interests as a whole. Everyone would be paid much better!

Scott Carney, a writer and journalist in the United States, got so fed up with the situation that he has kickstarted a website called WordRates, which aims to allow writers to publicly share payment structures, rate editors and sell pitches.

It all started with a crowdsourcing Google Docs he created which allowed these writers to share the average pay structures of several major (and niche) publications.

The website isn’t up yet, but Carney has successfully managed to achieve his Kickstarter goal and it should began soon. It’s a great idea, I think!

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A photo print of an ultra-poor Hazarat family in Bamiyan, Afghanistan


Mohammad Musa and his family outside his cave-house.
Mohammad Musa and his family at their home in Bamiyan, Afghanistan. (Zan Azlee, 2011)

In war-torn countries, it is almost too common to see the ultra-poor unable to bring themselves ahead in life. And this was what I saw in Afghanistan.

In the mountains of Bamiyan where the historical cavities of the great Buddhas of Bamiyan were, there are also a group of Hazarats who live in caves. They literally live in holes in the mountains.

The picture above is of Mohammad Musa and his family standing outside their home. If he’s lucky, he can earn about RM1 a day working odd jobs in the market.

Musa gave me a tour of his living space (in the video below):

 

Own a limited print of the picture above, framed (21cm x 30cm) and signed by yours truly for RM90. You can play a role in supporting independent journalism by clicking below.

If you are in Malaysia, you can also purchase by transferring RM110.00 (includes RM20 for postage and handling) to Maybank account 1141 2365 9174 via Maybank2U or ATM. Please make sure to e-mail (purchase.fatbidin@gmail.com):
1. Name of item purchased
2. Transaction date/time and reference number
3. Your full name
4. Shipping address

Or if you prefer more bang for your buck, there is also THE ADVENTURES OF A KL-ITE IN AFGHANISTAN SUPER FAN PACK!! You will get the photo, an official t-shirt and the book ‘Adventures of a KL-ite in Afghanistan’ for only RM120!

Thank you for the support.

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